Sam Is a Hit with the Fellas

To commemorate my decision to stop doubting my charms and waiting for people to realize how freaking sweet I am, I offer you a blast from my (non) dating past.

This will not happen again--

snovellasimpson:I'm being neurotic. Doing that thing you do where you play back everything you said and realize, if you'd had an editor, it could have been more awesome, and now everybody hates you.
seliseburns: Yeah, I do that too. But, he doesn't hate you.
snovellasimpson: Are you sure?
seliseburns: Very.
snovellasimpson: See, but it's easy for you to say that because you don't hate me.
seliseburns: I refuse to engage in this argument. Nobody hates you.
snovellasimpson: Okay. You're right.

snovellasimpson: Okay, he thinks I'm boring.
seliseburns: How could he possibly think that?
snovellasimpson: Because I don't do anything.
seliseburns: Boo. That is not true.
snovellasimpson: I don't even care.
seliseburns: Yes you do. Or you wouldn't be obsessing in this way. I do think you should strive to calm down, though.
snovellasimpson: I am calmly not caring.
seliseburns: Okay.
snovellasimpson: Okay.

seliseburns: So, I just had the impulse to watch the part of My Favorite Wife when Cary Grant is dodging his new wife during their honeymoon. I don't know why.
snovellasimpson: I think you do know why. It's my not-caring what's doing that to you.
seliseburns: No. It's probably because I foresee your honeymoon being that sort of screwball situation. You'll make me camp out in the next room and you'll run over every 5 minutes for advice.
snovellasimpson: "Stephanie, I think he hates me. No, really, he does."
seliseburns: "Sweetie, is he naked? Because, I don't think he hates you if he's naked."
snovellasimpson: "Yeah, but it's like a--like a hateful naked. Like he's naked, but he hates me."