This Year I'm Going to Camp

It's a whole new year and after watching a little Footballer$' Wives, I've decided our lives are not nearly dramatic enough. So, here's my list of resolutions for 2007:

1. Must start being omnisexual (i.e. boinking anything that moves or looks like it might move).

2. Alcohol is liquid, just like water. Should start drinking it as such.

3. Secret baby? Yes, indeed!

4. Start using all that extra time I have to stalk some dude. Preferably, a guy who is kind of an asshole.

5. No woman is refined without six-inch fingernails. Need to get some.

6. Convince some old guy who I have previously beat into a coma that we were having an affair pre-coma--without actually having any sex with him. Unless things get desperate.

7. Have a lavish wedding during which my husband-to-be rides in on a horse and "wakes" me with a kiss, despite having my breasts go up in flames at my bachelorette party.

8. Get myself a hot Italian Stallion for extramarital fun while my daughter is being held by kidnappers.

Yes, 2007 is going to be one dramatic year here at The Point of Babette. I can't wait.