Nerd Holiday #1: The Ides of March

On "Xena: Warrior Princess" Julius Caesar (Karl Urban) crucifies our heroine twice--three times if you count that time he urges the Fates to change his destiny and creates an alternate universe. (And I definitely count that time.)

Karl Urban's hotness made me wonder about the actual Julius Caesar. Turns out the real Caesar was 56 years old--and not a well-muscled, Karl-Urban-esque 28 years old--when all those senators ganged up on him. It also turns out he and Cleopatra could have been guests on "Maurius Povichius" in order to prove the paternity of Ptolemy Caesar, who would have been emperor of Rome if Julius Caesar had claimed him.

According to Greg Woolf's Et Tu, Brute?, Caesar's assassination reveals a great deal about culture and the transfer of power in the Roman empire. Caesar's death is not extraordinary, but it resonates because it marks the beginning of the end of the Roman empire-- a world characterized by rulers' constant struggle for both relevance and survival (which ultimately became synonymous).

To commemorate the life of a man whose death was extraordinary enough to garner the attention of Shakespeare, Rob Tapert, and Sam Raimi, I say let's celebrate the Ides of March. While you may find it tempting to celebrate the Ides of March by eliminating the "dictator for life" in your part of the empire, it may be more fun (and legal) to pretend your patterned sheets are "togas of manhood" while watching all those "Xena" reruns starring Karl Urban as Caesar (not Cupid).

Happy Ides of March! And watch your back...