Notes from the Road (The Gift Search)

You knew this girl in middle school: She would say she had a boyfriend. "Well, where is he then?" you asked. And she would retort, "Oh, you wouldn't know him. He doesn't go here."

I confess, friends. I am that girl. Right now.

I've said, "Oh, I have a boyfriend, but you wouldn't know him. He lives out of town," and I've driven away from the apartment with my suitcases and tote bags. I've been doing this since the fall, and now is the time to come clean.

The fact of the matter is--well--I've been searching for a birthday gift for Stephanie. She turns 27 today, and I've been tearing up the highways and by-ways of this nation in order to find the perfect bauble to commemorate this day.

What did I find? These are hard times, and the pickings are slim:

1. Somewhere in southern Ohio, there's a donkey tied to a post in front of a mobile home. The donkey, alas, would not fit into my sedan. And Stephanie may be allergic.

2. Somewhere in Pennsylvania, there's a vegan restaurant and bakery. I drove past the Dairy Queens and Burger Kings and into a heavily wooded stretch of road, hoping I could find my roommate some dairy-free cookies. The restaurant was closed.

3. Somewhere in West Virginia, there's Tamarack, a tourist trap that looks like orange wedges atop a hill. Stephanie could have used some of the quilts they sell there to keep warm now that it's cold, but I couldn't afford them.

4. Somewhere in Michigan, there's an independent bookstore with funky coin purses and author action figures. I actually bought something there... and kept it for myself.

Not quite a hero's journey, and I didn't have much to show for it, despite my tangled web of travelin' lies.

What, after all, can I get for the person who makes me milkshakes after dinner and treats me to ice cream and Indian food when I've had a rotten day? What do you give the person who understands and participates in a spontaneous dance party slash critical analysis of this week's episode of "The Office"? And what do you give the person who knew me when I was a huge (and I mean huge) "Sailor Moon" and "Fushigi Yugi" fan... and still decided to be my roommate ten years later?

Exactly.

Looks like I need to hit the road again...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEPHANIE!