The Sad (Future) Saga of OJ and the Man

So, OJ Simpson is in trouble again. First it was murder, now it's armed robbery. Seems kind of like he's downgrading, right? I mean, what's next? Funny you should ask. The Point of Babette has done extensive research and is here to tell you what's next.

1. Out on bail, OJ is brushed by another pedestrian, who he then drags into an alley and beats up. It would be a mugging, but the guy doesn't have any memorabilia on him.

2. In their investigation of his armed robbery charges, the police uncover the ladies cosmetics pyramid scheme that OJ has been running out of his poolhouse.

3. A few weeks later, they find fields of cannibus growing at his vacation home.

4. Several of the top collectors of Simpson memorabilia report that their cars have been spray-painted with the words, "Stop stealing my shit!!!"

5. In his most recent high speed chase from the cops (who are trying to apprehend him for the vandalism charge), he crosses private property with clearly posted "No trespassing" signs.

6. OJ is picked up after reports that he was sleeping on the courthouse steps, mumbling derogatory ephithets about the law. He is charged with public drunkenness.

So you see, there is a rough road of diminishing returns ahead for OJ Simpson. We can only hope that, eventually, he'll serve some time. Maybe for the drunkenness.