The Fall of TV - Part 4

Thursday night: Where Friends once stomped around and killed everything else. Let’s see if the mice have evolved into anything good. (A little belated because I am no good.)

ABC
Alias: So, I’ve been about ready to give up on this show for two seasons. But, of course, the cliff-hanger: “I’m not Michael Vaughn.” Since Michael Vaughn is one of about 3 characters I actually care about on that show (the others being Jack Bristow and Irina Derevko), I guess I’ll watch and see who he really is. But, if they (as is rumored) kill off the aforementioned Michael Vaughn, it may be the point at which JJ Abrams and I finally part ways for good. REVISION FOLLOWING LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE: Kiss my ass, JJ Abrams. I’m taking my business elsewhere.

Night Stalker: A remake of an older TV show. But this time with Gabrielle Union. You know, I had no idea what this was about before I started writing this, but I looked it up and it looks a little interesting. At least compared to the other things on at 9 on Thursday.

CBS
Survivor: Guatemala: Despite its popularity and extreme proliferation, I’ve never watched a single episode of Survivor. I think it may be the high unattractive naked people content that generally scares me off.

CSI: Extreme close-ups of bugs and dead people. Just what I’ve always wanted to watch after dinner.

Without a Trace: Not a bad show, but I always feel like the episode goes downhill from the opening sequence where someone just fades away from wherever they were last seen. Plus, I’m an ER watcher from way back so I usually don’t even think of this show.

NBC
Joey: Not even Jennifer Coolidge of the esteemed Christopher Guest comedy troupe can make me tune in for this sad, weak little spin-off.

Will and Grace: It’s not what it once was. The shtick has gone the way of that bread in the back of my cabinet. Which is to say, stale and moldy. Plus, Grace has gotten no less irritating.

The Apprentice: There’s only so much Donald Trump you can take in a lifetime, folks, and I have reached my extreme limit.

ER: I’ll probably watch. I have all sorts of problems with this show, but it’s a handy staple. Plus, it still has Maura Tierney, who won my unswerving devotion on Newsradio, and Parminder Nagra from Bend It Like Beckham.

Fox
The O.C.: Oh, stick-thin, too-clever-for-words, soap opera flunkies. Your show is just a little too soapy for me.

Reunion: I’m staying away from all the new high-concept shows this year. The concept for this one is murder mystery told backwards. Or something. It’s a little too complicated for me right now.

The WB
Smallville: Lois and Clark will always be the only Superman story I need to see. Not even pretty pretty Tom Welling can make me want to watch this.

Everwood: I think it’s about doctors or mountains or some sort of combination of the two.

UPN
Everybody Hates Chris: I may be checking this out now that Alias has gone off the deep end. It looks pretty funny.

Love, Inc.: This reminds me of the show with Alicia Silverstone that got cancelled really quick. Except that that was an hour-long thing. Anyway, I probably won’t venture into what looks like a pretty lame little sitcom, but then, with Alias gone, all bets are off.

Eve: Being a hip-hop star does not automatically mean you are also an actor. In fact, the opposite could probably be said with about 99% accuracy.

Cuts: If you were wondering what ever happened to that girl from American Pie – the exchange student – this is what happened. She’s on UPN ripping off Barbershop.

The verdict: I may just read or watch a movie. But if I don’t, I’ll try out Everybody Hates Chris and possibly watch ER. Alias, you never knew how good you had it until you lost it.