Just Like Buddy Holly is Good Enough for Me

snovellasimpson: My love for Weezer is inappropriate.
seliseburns: Don't listen so hard you get pregnant. I mean, I didn't know that could happen until you mentioned Crystal's problem, but I'm really worried about you now.
snovellasimpson: But would it be so bad, Stephanie? I could have a little Weezer baby.
seliseburns: Well, when you put it like that.
snovellasimpson: My little Emmett could wear black rimmed glasses.
seliseburns: Would the baby be born with geek chic glasses on? (I swear I was typing that before you typed yours.)
snovellasimpson: It is no secret we have the same brain. And he would be born that way. Totally born that way... Okay--so in all their videos, they look like they totally do not belong, and if they turned around and saw what was happening behind them, they would lose their shit. And that's why I love Weezer.
seliseburns: Hee. That is appetizing. I love when people are perched precariously on the edge of their shit.

The Next Day--
snovellasimpson: Read about Rivers Cuomo--and then answer a few questions I have, okay?
seliseburns: Let me guess. You want to end his celibacy.
snovellasimpson: Like yesterday. However, my question for you is this: Why am I attracted to white men who are attracted to Asian women?
seliseburns: What other white men attracted to Asian women are you attracted to?
snovellasimpson: Trey and Percy.
seliseburns: Huh. Well, I don't know, Sam. That is really strange.
snovellasimpson: So not cool.
seliseburns: Well, only if they aren't attracted to you as well. Which, you don't know.
snovellasimpson: I'll never know.
seliseburns: Maybe not. But maybe so. Certainly, Rivers has to tell you something when you attempt your seduction.
snovellasimpson: He'll be all, "Sorry, babe. Your body is bangin', but you're no Ziyi Zhang." Because he talks like that.
seliseburns: Not necessarily. He may be like, "Look, um, you're really freakin' beautiful. But I've got this whole celibacy thing going..." And you'll be like, "Me too! I thought we could work through it together." And then he'll break down.
snovellasimpson: And then after we... uh, resolve our resolutions, we can eat popcorn and watch the 1955 "Sabrina." Two times in a row.
seliseburns: Why that particular movie?
snovellasimpson: I like it.
seliseburns: Oh. Okay.