Love Me, Love My Stuff, Part 3

This time--Crystal* on Hot White Guys (and Jesse L. Martin)

*Crystal is not a hugging friend--unless (1) we've had too much merlot or (2) "Final Destination 3" is scaring the bejebus out of us. I think she watches Gale Harold ("Queer as Folk") with such intensity, she risks getting pregnant. These things happen.

Clark Gable: "So hot. That scene in Gone with the Wind with the angryRhett and the swoonScarlett? I just melt... but I heard he had bad breath."

Cary Grant: "I've never seen a Cary Grant movie, but that doesn't make him any less hot."

Trey Parker: "I'm afraid to praise him because I don't want you to think I'm making a play on your man [Smart girl.--Sam]. But Orgazmo? Hella tight."

Johnny Depp: "Onolicious. That's 'yummy' in Hawaiian pidgin."

Colin Firth: "I'm sorry, I thought he had officially changed his name to Mr. Darcy--which is also fine."

David Boreanaz: "I really wouldn't mind watching 'Bones' (not to be confused with 'Bonez' of Snoop fame)."

Owen Wilson: "Have you ever made a movie that wasn't splendiferous? You and your brother are so supafly."

Jesse L. Martin: "ROCKS MY WORLD! Santa Fe, here we come! Love that man--will have his babies!"