Endearment

Why am I such a bitch?
In this room, the perfume is overpowering,
the tensions hang over.

On TV, Shirley McLaine is yelling,
"Give my daughter the shot!"
I can't relate.

Here, I'm tripping
over my own catty remarks.
I know Jeff Daniels is just no good,
but then, neither am I.

I've been limping through the city
these last few days, striving not to show
it, as though I were the weak member
of the pack trying not to be picked off.
And still, I have begun to speak
the language of impatience.
I probably have it coming.

Out my window, the night refuses
to smother thousands of little lights.
TVs flash from far-off buildings.
I imagine Shirley McLaine weeping
from each one.

Her daughter dies
and it is only a smear of mascara,
a little sigh.