Ah, Spring Break...

So, last week was Sam's Spring Break. And she was sick. Which is a good way to spoil your plans for debauchery. Here's a list of five things that it is inadvisable to attempt with a fever of 102:

1.) Beer-chugging. Sure, it's an impressive feat and you don't want anyone to break your record, but with a stuffy nose, you run the risk of asphixiating yourself completely. That's a Darwin award, my friend.

2.) Suntanning. Okay, the bikini seemed like a great idea when you were burning up, but now that your chills are back, the beach towel isn't covering all it should. Plus? No pockets for your tissues.

3.) Water-skiing. You get dizzy from sitting up in bed. And if you fall off it, you're not going to drown.

4.) The jacuzzi. It's a hot bath with a swimsuit, right? That's good for you, right? Well, good for you, but not for anyone else. With hot water right under it, your stuffy nose turns runny. You're too wet to grab a tissue so you're either sniffling to the rhythm of the jets or you're not having that much success with the sniffling and your personal fluids are creeping ever closer to communal waters.

5.) Wet t-shirt contest. Forget issues of modesty and good taste. Standing around in wet clothes is just going to make you sicker.

What does this tell us? Well, it pretty much blows to be sick on Spring Break. Do not attempt at home. (Get better Sam!)