Battle of the Bands: The Volunteers vs. Ludo

Here's the thing, friends. I'm getting old. If I tell you I'm 25, I'm lying. I moisturize religiously so that you will believe that lie for the next 10 or 15 years.

I've found that rock music also keeps the wrinkles and cellulite at bay. I hear the young people partake of the rock music, and that's how they remain the young people. And that's why I made my way to two shows in one week:

Band: The Volunteers (Part of the Army Field Band)

Sounds Like: A cover band fronted by your totally square parents.

Date: April 6, 2008

Venue: Smith High School, Greensboro, NC

Audience: You would think that the arrival of a shuttle from a local retirement community would give me pause. And it did. Oh, the old people turned out in droves, double-parking their caddies and complaining about the how the rain was affecting their joints. To be fair, many of the people easing up the sidewalk with their walkers were veterans--heroes, if you will.

Signature Song(s): A medley of the theme songs for every branch of the U.S. military followed by a cover of Lee Greenwood's "Proud to Be an American"

Concert Highlight: During the performance of "Life Is a Highway," the pint-sized grandson of one of these heroes rushed to the stage and played air guitar, air drums, and air keyboard.

On-the-Spot Review: "Why do I suddenly have a craving for creamed corn? And why won't those damn kids stay off my lawn?"

Band: Ludo

Sounds Like: A pop-punk band fronted by that weird kid from third grade who used to stuff candy up his nose.

Date: April 13, 2008

Venue: Tremont Music Hall, Charlotte, NC

Audience: There were a handful of tattooed young folks with dyed hair. Over 50% of the audience wore tattered Chuck Taylors. One woman pulled up to the club in a mini-van full of underage rockers, making her the coolest mom ever.

Signature Song(s): Everyone sang along to "Love Me Dead." And "Go-Getter Greg" is at once hilarious and scary.

Concert Highlight: The band took a picture of the audience pretending to be circus animals.

On-the-Spot Review: "Yes, I would date the lead singer. I don't even care that he's three feet tall."

Winner: LUDO