The Real Point of Babette

Once upon a time, Stephanie and I imagined the real Point of Babette would be a cafe/bookstore/carwash/roller-skating rink located on one of the Hawaiian islands. Y'all would think our inability to raise the funds we needed to build this heaven on earth would upset us.

And you'd be thinking wrong. Beloved Babetteers, Stephanie and I will be unveiling the Greensboro Point of Babette in summer 2006. There will be no roller rink or carwash, but we do have an impressive array of novels and chapbooks (not for sale). And I have a four-cup coffeemaker with the heart of a 12-cup percolater.

This is going to be awesome.

However, even paradise needs a few house rules. The law of the Real Point of Babette (Greensboro) mandates and declares:

1. Sam may not watch "Xena: Warrior Princess" in the living room. "Xena" time is private time.

2. Stephanie may not watch more than three episodes of "Lois & Clark" in one sitting. It's not that we don't love the show, but excessive viewing of Dean Cain's pecs causes irreversible brain damage.

3. Frozen Salisbury steak is not real food. Seriously, Sam.

4. And for that matter, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish aren't so nutritious either. Stephanie will not eat more than one package a day.

5. No Steven Seagal EVER!

6. Bubblegum is a tasty chewy treat, not an acceptable choice in music.

7. No literary debates right before bedtime. We'll never get to sleep.

8. She who brings home a lame person is required to provide an out for the other person.

9. No dieting! Food is your friend.

10. Dance party attendance is mandatory on Friday and Saturday nights. Costumes are optional, unless it's October.

We know what you're thinking: "Where can we buy tickets for The Real Point of Babette?" Rest assured--we charge nothing for your company. So, stop on by--unless you're lame or Steven Seagal.