Wish Me Monsters

Congratulations to Head Babetteer Anna on her recent nuptials!

They say every little girl dreams about her wedding day, and I suppose I'm no different. Here's to all of you who can't make it to this most joyous of events--

THE DATE: October 31, Mystery Year. That's right--Halloween. And if you think there won't be cobwebs, candy corn, apple-bobbing, and costumes at this little get-together, then you don't know me very well.

THE DRESS: Do you remember the penultimate scene in"The Barkeleys of Broadway"? Do you remember that dress Ginger Rogers was wearing? I want that--unless a replica costs more than $200. I will spare plenty of expenses for this affair.

THE HAIR: Combed, for once.

THE BRIDESMAIDS: I said Halloween, didn't I? That means costumes for my dear girlfriends. They're cheaper than actual bridesmaid dresses, and they'll make for killer photos.

THE FLORAL ARRANGEMENT: ... the what now?

THE CEREMONY: Short. Sweet. Wedding express. Sure, people come for the lurve, but they stay for the wine and mushroom empanadas.

THE PHOTOS: Funny faces. Bunny ears.

THE RECEPTION: Food. Wine. Party express. And I expect dancing. If your shoes hurt your feet, take them off. Guests should expect to do the Thriller dance and the Monster Mash. Because it's Halloween.

THE GROOM: Can't have a wedding without one of those. Hm. I had my heart set on Trey Parker, but he married someone else. Also, he doesn't know me. No worries. I'll send out a few Marriage Applications to worthy suitors.

It doesn't sound like a big deal, does it? Truth is, my wedding day won't be the most important day of my life. (That spot is already taken by my graduation from college.) It will, however, be a good time--not just for me, but for all my guests. So, friends expect good food, good wine, and a few rounds of Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Bridezilla-Star-Jones-in-Effigy. See you there!