I'm Wearing You Down, Baby: The Soundtrack to My Crush on Percy*

Oh, don't pretend like y'all don't daydream about your life being an hour-long drama on ABC, and there's a montage about the previous year during the opening credits, and there's a really cool font for the names of the cast members (your friends and family). And what's a scene in an hour-long drama without that perfect song, the song that expresses what the main characters feel? I call those songs Script Doctor Shorthand.

Now, then--I crafted a 23-song SDS for my mega-crush on Percy. It's the end of the school year now, though, so I have to retire that bad-boy. (Sigh.) But you, beloved Babetteers, can enjoy some highlights from "I'm Wearing You Down, Baby: The Soundtrack to My Crush on Percy":

1. Why Don't We Do It in the Road?--The Beatles
KEY LYRICS: No one will be watching us/Why don't we do it in the road?
[I've heard this song is actually about toking up, but the innuendo still works for me.]

2. Take On Me--A-Ha/Reel Big Fish
KEY LYRICS: You're shying away/I'll be coming for your love anyway.

4. No Sleep Tonight--The Faders
KEY LYRICS: So I'll just make this a little more obvious/Because I get what I want, and I want you to get with me.
[In real life--not fake ABC-drama life--I'm not so aggressive as all of this. Play-pretend is fun!]

8. El Scorcho--Weezer
KEY LYRICS: Come out in the street and dance with me!

14. Happy Meal II--The Cardigans
KEY LYRICS: Arrange my books in order/Make up some nice stories to amuse you.
[This is probably the closest to "macking" I'll ever get. Boys love books and stories, and I've got those in spades.]

15. Bohemian Like You--The Dandy Warhols
KEY LYRICS: No, I haven't heard your band 'cause you guys are pretty new.
[Percy + bass = Yum.]

20. Faded--Souldecision
KEY LYRICS: What I gotta say to you to get some play?
[I mean, damn.]

21. Something About Us--Daft Punk
KEY LYRICS: I might not be the right one/It might not be the right time/But there's something between us.

23. The Way I Feel Inside--The Zombies
KEY LYRICS: But till I can see/That you'd really care for me/I'll keep trying to hide/The way I feel inside.

My show would premiere on a Tuesday at 8:00. Tune in for the killer drama and killer-er soundtrack.

*His name totally isn't Percy. Everyone on Earth knows that.