Yes!!

I'm being published!

(Again.)

Please look out for the new issue of LUNGFULL! (#15).

OLL #9: This Chick Is a Sick Individual

Dear Missy Elliot,

You're kind of my hero.

Right now, no song makes me want to stand up and dance in my cubicle to the astonishment/amusement of my coworkers and passing students like "We Run This." I love the beat, the marching band chords in the background, the more than slightly raunchy lyrics. On Saturday, I went hiking and found a little booty-shakin' energy at the end of 7 miles when that song kicked up on my discman (that's right, discman - I like to think of my lack of an Ipod more as an act of resistance rather than a product of lack of funds).

But it's not just about danceability. I love your bravado. I love that you say, "I shakes my gut like 'yeah, bitch, what?'" I love that you are always sexual without ever sexualizing your image for consumption. I have the feeling that if some guy tried to get you to cook for him, you wouldn't give him a 20-minute psuedo-feminist lecture, but you would laugh in his face and casually walk away. While other women who are singers and rappers can seem overly touchy, man-hating, and contradictory, you exude the kind of confidence that precludes all that. You're a rapper before a "female artist," and I think that helps us all out much more than any of the "Girl Power" pop acts like The Spice Girls or Destiny's Child (not that they aren't enjoyable in their own right).

So, thanks. I'm grateful for the chance to shake my gut.

Love,
Stephanie

It's a Small Small Small Small World

On Sunday, I saw a movie I liked very much: Stranger Than Fiction with Will Ferrell, Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson and Maggie Gyllenhall. A fun movie, if not a great one (worth your money if you're looking for something to see and you should also see Borat and The Prestige). What it really made me thing about is how connected all my favorite things are. So, I've decided to test my theory and connect some. For the fun of it.

Stranger Than Fiction--A bored man (played by a manic comic turned semi-dramatic) is enchanted by an artsy girl (played by an unconventional actress known for her indie films), much like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which stars Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet. Winslet was in Sense and Sensibility (with Emma Thompson), a Jane Austen adaptation that came out in 1996, just like Pride and Prejudice, Persuasion, and Emma. An almost unrecognizable Ewan McGregor played Frank Churchill in Emma. He also starred in Down with Love which spoofs the Doris Day sex comedies, such as Pillow Talk, Lover Come Back, and That Touch of Mink.

The guy chasing Doris Day to Al's Motel in That Touch of Mink is Cary Grant, who I love with Irene Dunne in My Favorite Wife and equally as much with Katherine Hepburn in both Bringing Up Baby and The Philadelphia Story. Jimmy Stewart pokes around Katherine Hepburn's high society wedding in The Philadelphia Story, but, before that, had a big crush on Nora Charles's sister in After the Thin Man. Myrna Loy and William Powell starred in all The Thin Man movies and in between, Powell starred in My Man Godfrey with his ex-wife, Carole Lombard. Lombard starred in To Be or Not To Be, a comedy about the German occupation of Poland, with Jack Benny. It was her last film before she died in a plane crash. At the time of her death, she was married to Clark Gable.

Gable starred in one of the first road trip comedies, It Happened One Night, with Claudette Colbert. In that movie, when the characters spend the night in a roadside motel, Gable's character erects the "Wall of Jericho" to maintain a sense of modesty, which consists of a sheet pulled over a rope between the two twin beds. This scene is referenced and duplicated (with a king-sized bed) in Bandits, which stars Cate Blanchett, Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thorton. [Note: The Wall of Jericho falls considerably quicker in Bandits.] Before his descent into cranky-man mediocrity, Billy Bob Thorton was married to Angelina Jolie. She has starred in Mr. and Mrs. Smith as well as Playing by Heart, which also featured Jon Stewart.

Jon Stewart is my favorite fake newsman on The Daily Show (Sam prefers Stephen Colbert, but she is wrong). Steve Carrell, who currently stars in the American version of The Office was a correspondent for The Daily Show. The British version of The Office stars Ricky Gervais and Martin Freeman as Tim. Freeman was (briefly) in Shaun of the Dead and starred in A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which also featured Sam Rockwell, Zooey Deschanel and Mos Def. Mos Def performed in Dave Chappelle's Block Party. Dave Chappelle was Achoo in Robin Hood: Men in Tights, which starred Cary Elwes, who also in The Princess Bride and Ella Enchanted. Parminder Nagra played a small part in Ella Enchanted, but starred in Bend It Like Beckham with Kiera Knightley. Knightley (before going on to cheapen Jane Austen) co-starred in Pirates of the Carribbean with Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp.

The incredible Johnny Depp has (among other things) starred in Sleepy Hollow and Once Upon a Time in Mexico with Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek. Hayek was in Frida and is currently producing and guest-starring on Ugly Betty with America Ferrera. America Ferrera was the only good part of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, which also starred Alexis Bledel. Bledel plays Rory Gilmore on Gilmore Girls with Lauren Graham. Graham once guest-starred on Newsradio with Dave Foley, Maura Tierney, Phil Hartman and Stephen Root. Stephen Root went from playing jovial boss Jimmy James on that to playing Milton Waddams, the red stapler-loving pyromaniac in Office Space. Jennifer Aniston played the girlfriend in Office Space and the best friend in Dream for an Insomniac with Ione Skye. Skye guest-starred on Arrested Development as Anne's mother opposite Alan Tudyk (Firefly). Tony Hale played Buster on Arrested Development and is currently co-starring in Stranger Than Fiction.

Take that, Kevin Bacon.

We're Bringing Sexy Back... to Vaudeville

"Duck Soup" for dinner and "Monkey Business" for dessert with... Groucho and Harpo Marx!